INTERVIEW: Bassist, Dom Lam (TEMPERS FRAY), Breaks Down Growing Up in the UK

INTERVIEW | Dom Lam
Bassist
Tempers Fray

As a new immigrant from Hong Kong, when we travel around the UK and meet people involved in the UKHC scene that have connections to our hometown – it’s always an amazing feeling. There aren’t many…don’t get us wrong. But the few that we’ve come across have been so heartwarming. People like Alex of DYNAMITE/UZUMAKI/TURN OF PHRASE, Leon of CROSS MY HEART (not from Hong Kong but China so we bust out the Canto every once in a while), the peeps in grindcore band CHOU (the crew is from China and out here studying), Jess of FRACTURED…and even talking to people who’ve visited Hong Kong is such a dope way to feel still connected to the city that raised us.

And then today, we get to introduce the world to our good friend Dom. The bassist of a BEAST of a band called TEMPERS FRAY. This band is obnoxiously good and what makes the band even more annoying – they’re all SUPER FRICKIN’ good dudes. Every single one of them. The bastards.

We began punishing him pretty much from the very first band photo of Tempers Fray we ever saw. We were like “Woah! A Chinese dude in a UKHC band! That shit is SOOOO few and far between! I wonder if he has any connections to Hong Kong?!” Quickly DM-ed him and he was so generous with his time.

SOOOOO, as we continue to document Asian members of the UKHC scene, we bring you our 兄弟 Dom Lam.

UA: Thanks so much for agreeing to do this! Tell the folks your name, ethnicity (and why it’s kinda complicated if you don’t mind), and what band you play in.
Yo! My name’s Dom. Ethnicity isn’t always easy for me to define as I was born and raised in England. My dad is from Hong Kong and my mum was the daughter of Irish immigrants. I’m the bassist in Tempers Fray (Brighton/London based).

UA: Now, as a fellow Hongkonger you know we have to tap into that side of your being. Since you were born and raised here, do you feel any sort of connection to Hong Kong at all? Because your life almost mirrors mine – I’m ethnically Pakistani, but never lived there – I grew up in Hong Kong.
Man this is really opening up some memories (in a good way!).

It took me a long time to feel any connection to Hong Kong as my dad wasn’t around when I was a kid and so I spent most of my life growing up around Irish relatives. My mum would always remind me of my heritage (on both sides) whenever she could. It was important to her that I didn’t miss out on identifying as a Hong Konger, despite my dad not being a part of my life. I’ve got a lot of memories celebrating Chinese New Year with my mum (I’ll never forget that first red envelope) but this was closely followed by St Patrick’s Day! So for 2 months of the year, culture’s collided!

UA: Your mom is an amazing human. That’s cool that you still celebrated Chinese New Year and received red packets! Do you remember what else you did to celebrate your Hong Kong side?
As a teenager I did get to spend more time with my family from Hong Kong – mostly in Chinatown for family reunions, with plenty of dim sum spinning around the table. I remember my auntie teaching me about Hong Kong culture & good luck symbols as we walked around Chinatown and I can’t deny this later influenced me to get “foo” lions tattooed – although my uncle was convinced that my tattoos were gang related. It wasn’t until I was 18 that I first got to visit Hong Kong and spent 2 weeks with family, some of which only spoke Cantonese. I tried my best to learn a few phrases but it never stuck as I wasn’t around it often enough, but it’s something I’d still love to learn.

“My mum would always remind me of my heritage (on both sides) whenever she could. It was important to her that I didn’t miss out on identifying as a Hong Konger.”

UA: So you’ve been to Hong Kong! What was that experience like for you? A lot of people are taken aback by the height of the insane buildings that we have. Like when I tell people I lived on the 70th floor they literally can’t believe that.
Oh yeah it was definitely crazy seeing those huge tower blocks with multiple generations sharing tiny apartments! When I went to Hong Kong it was actually during Chinese New Year (Year of the Dog if I remember right) so we saw celebrations poppin’ off down almost every street. I’ll never forget the LOUD neon lights over the night markets and insane street food! I’d never seen anything like it and was world’s apart from what I was used to.

I did some of the usual tourist things like Lantau Island (didn’t walk the steps…) but I hadn’t met most of my family there since I was a kid so the trip was kind of a big deal. The language barrier made things a bit harder but we all spoke the same language when it came down to cooking hot pot and playing ‘Sic Bo’ late at night.

UA: Yeah I think many of us Asian diaspora will find a lot of what you stated really relatable. The idea of seeing extended family, and even though there’s a language barrier, there’s still a deep connection. When you were in Hong Kong did it feel like “home” at all you think? Like when I used to visit Pakistan every summer it was cool to feel like I finally didn’t stand out (until I started speaking of course hahaha)…
I think if I had spent more time in Hong Kong growing up or had a different relationship with my dad it definitely could have felt like a second home. However, the longer I was there, the more I started to notice the cultural differences that made me want to come back. I wasn’t on the same path as my cousins who were all at university studying or had careers planned out and my family couldn’t understand why I wasn’t doing the same and struggled to see why I was more interested in skateboarding, starting bands and playing video games. Like with most families, it came from a good place with them wanting me to “succeed in life”, but our ideas of what success looked like differed.

UA: Welcome to my world man. Hahahaha…it’s always fascinating to explain to people how conservative Hong Kong families are. Doing something in the world of art? Fuck no. How’re you going to pay rent! Now – let’s get into how you got into heavy music.
It’s hard to say exactly when I got into heavier music but Chris, founder/guitar Tempers Fray, who I went to school with and his brother Matt definitely had an influence. They got me into heavier bands like Chimaira, Strapping Young Lad, Cult of Luna and Hatebreed. For years before that, I had to rely on CD’s my older sister had so I grew up listening to mostly punk/nu metal.

I picked up bass at school and joined bands with mates but none of it was serious – but I’d say when I discovered bands like Despised Icon and All Shall Perish, it made me want to properly learn how to play and write heavy riffs. I was in a metal/hardcore band after I left school and started going to more hardcore shows/festivals – driving to Pressure Fest in Germany 2008 a few weeks after I got my licence was a trip I’ll never forget. I took a long break from being in a band, story for another day…and didn’t get back into it until 2021 with Tempers Fray, but they’ve been some of the best years of my life. And there’s nothing quite like watching a crowd fuck each other up to your own riffs!

UA: That’s cool that your sister was kinda like your “old head” getting you into punk and metal. How did she get into it? And when you first heard that blend of music – punk and metal – were you immediately down for both or did you gravitate more to the metal bands?
I think like most people, she probably got into it through her mates and their older siblings – word of mouth, hanging out at the few local shows that happened and any CDs that came free with Kerrang magazines. My sister was more into pop punk/emo which wasn’t really my thing, but it introduced me to alternative music in my early teenage years. We ended up going to the same local shows for a while and they usually had mixed bills, but I was definitely more interested in the heavier metal bands. A lot of the local punk bands I saw had the same style so I got bored of it quite quickly, but with the metal bands I got to experience hardcore/prog/doom and basically just a wider range of heaviness – and a bit more violence…

UA: Hahaha nice – and how did you get roped into Tempers Fray especially since, as you mentioned, you were taking a break from playing music?
Part of it was getting back in touch with people I’d lost contact with over the years and realising how much I missed going to/playing shows. I still occasionally picked up (and dusted off) my bass over the years but it was starting to become a forgotten hobby. Tempers Fray had a break for a few years but around 2020 Chris was keen to start things up again and asked if I would be interested in joining. It didn’t take long to convince me as I’d played in a band with Chris and Nick before so knew it would be easy working with them to learn the songs and start playing shows again. As we were old friends, it also made it easier for me when we started writing Return to the Earth – something I think I would have felt less confident with if I had joined a band not already knowing the members!

UA: As we wrap this interview up, of course, with all the bullshit rise of the far right right now – could you speak of any personal instances of racism that you’ve dealt with?
It’s always been important to me that the people I consider friends & family, share the same beliefs and values as me – and if they don’t, they aren’t worth my time.

Unfortunately common sense isn’t common, so it’s frustrating and disappointing to see the rise of the far right in my own country which is often fuelled by ignorance and stupidity.

Most of the racism I experienced growing up was just dumb stereotypes – not anything I remember ever really bothering me – or if it did it got stamped out quick. At school I heard the usual names and things like people assuming because I’m asian that I’d be good at maths (again…dumb shit), but in general my personal experience of racism has definitely been on a different scale to other people I know.