COLUMN: Agender – Questioning Gender Identity by Puteri Nurainn

Agender. I think this word resonates with me a lot these days.

I’ve always questioned my identity, wondering why gender is such an important topic to people but not me. Throughout my life I’ve never felt 100% male or female, it’s always a grey area. And over time I realised, I’m just me. A human bean who just exists as Puteri.

First of all, biological sex and gender identity aren’t the same. Don’t get me wrong, I accept that I was assigned female at birth and I go through female experiences throughout my entire life. I acknowledge the fact that I am female and society perceives me as one, and I am pretty okay with that too. I’m also okay with not associating myself with a gender altogether. I’m happy with she-her pronouns and strangely maybe slightly happier with they-them pronouns! They-them feels comfortable to me because it is gender-neutral, and I appreciate that too.

At the end of the day, Puteri is still Puteri. Nothing’s changed about me. I am still that same person you know, except I now have a word that I can relate myself to, instead of having to always explain to people that, “I’ve never felt like a man or a woman, I feel like I’m just me.” I’m sure many of my friends have heard me say that!

Agender to me means not limiting how I want to express myself, and I get to dress however I want because I don’t see gender especially not on clothes. If it looks nice I’m adding it to my wardrobe y’all, I think that’s the most important thing. And if I get weird looks it probably means my outfit’s pretty great. Yes, thank you for noticing my mishmash of clothes from the men’s and women’s section. Maybe sometimes even the youths’ section where clothes are cheaper!! Also men’s clothes just have nicer prints I’m not even gonna lie. The whole store is mine to conquer 👁👄👁

Anyway, hello. I am Puteri and I am me.

* The article above was taken with permission from the author Puteri. She plays drums in phenomenal bands like Obstacle Upsurge and Jaddah